The Luna Challenge
by Alexander Ripley
Summary: What happens when Luna meets Voldemort......


One of those 15 minute challenges. I thought it would be fun to write :) I hope you enjoy it

* * *

It was early morning and the sound of light snoring filled the Gryffindor Common Room. The Golden Trio had stayed up all night to study after they had lost a bet to Hermionie. It wouldn't have been so bad if this wasn't the last day of the vacation but a bet was a sacred thing and grudgingly they had accepted defeat and opened the text books. The rather sweet scene of three friends dozing off on various couches was interrupted as The Boy Who Just Won't Die gave a terrified sound somewhere between a shriek and a scream and stood up

His friends quickly joined him trying to help. They were alerted when they saw the terrified expression on his face and when he finally managed to catch his breath he gave them a news that filled them with dread

" Voldemort…..he has Luna"

* * *

A few hundred kilometers away in a mansion that was stuck in the Middle Ages a man if you could still call him that was feeling ecstatic at the sight before him. Granted a lot of man would be pleased to have an attractive blond girl on their knees in front of them but he didn't have the usual healthy albeit slightly perverted reasons. No he was a rather sick creature who instead found enjoyment in inflicting pain on others. And this was a special occasion since not only would he punish a blood traitor but he would also cause his mortal enemy great suffering. Some people might remark that having a mediocre sixteen year old as a mortal enemy might be a tad on the pathetic side however He Who Is Fond Of Anagrams has killed most of them

The rest who were known for some inexplicable as Death Eaters, a name that brought up the image of vultures rather then feared terrorist stood in circle around their master and were preparing to enjoy the show. Thankfully they all had a great view as the mansion had a ball room and all the dozens of magical Nazis were feeling comfortable inside.

" It sickens me to see a young pureblood like you betraying their heritage" hissed (literally) Voldemort as he circled the young girl. He rather enjoyed this part. Apart from his many other issues he had always felt unappreciated in his childhood so making speeches while being surrounded by his adoring semi slaves was a near orgasmic experience for him. Unfortunately the strange blond girl was currently doing the equivalent of cock blocking him as instead of the terrified expression and general begging for life she just stood there with a dreamy expression on her face while humming a rather catchy tune.

" Are you sure it's not Kvanzi Humkers? They can make you sick if you don't regularly trim your toenails you know" everybody in the room froze for a second as their brains tried to process just what happened. Thoughts like 'she did not say what I think she said ? Did she?' were rather common. Luna who thought they were confused for an entirely different reason just added" It was in the latest issue of The Quibbler"

It was about then that Bellatrix suddenly screamed in indignation and lunged at the girl. It was a rather unpleasant sight as the disheveled woman was slightly foaming at the mouth. She stopped halfway there when saw the hand gesture from her master and idol

"Do you think this is a joke little girl?" hissed Voldemort in anger

"I would never joke about Kvanzi Humkers" said the girl with her serious tone as she finally focused and looked him in the eyes. Her eyes widened as she took the sight of Voldemort face " What happened to you nose?Did the Nargles …"

"CRUCIO" screamed Voldemort who was also beginning to foam at the mouth a bit. When he woke up this morning he never thought that he would find someone that made him angrier then Potter and Dumbledore combined He watched in satisfaction as the girl writhed in pain but she recovered rather fast and looked at him again with a slightly unfocused look that for some reason disturbingly reminded him of his earlier days of recruiting Death Eaters when Bellatrix constantly invited him to tea parties. He had worked hard on suppressing those memories

"Ouch that hurt. Stop it" she said trying to sound stern but not actually succeeding.

"And why should I little girl?" laughed Voldemort as he began to regain his equilibrium. In the end Crucio brought them all down

"Because otherwise I'll have to hurt you" she responded in a regretful tone

"Filthy blood traitor I'll kill you, I'll kill you…." Voldemort cast a silencing spell on Bellatrix who was barely restrained by Malfoy. As he much as he loved loyalty she could be rather annoying at times

"You think you can hurt me little girl?" said the man with name phobia now thoroughly amused.

"Oh yes. But I would rather avoid it. Because you see if you hurt people Karmic Boogieworms will…"

'And how will you do it? A mere child with no wand?" interrupted Voldemort who's amusement was once again replaced with anger

"Oh I am an animagus. I learned in the summer" she said as if this explained everything

"Animagus" he repated and laughed loudly. His emotions which seemed to be playing a game of pong between anger and amusement every since he met this girl were currently in the amusement field." Go on then child. Let's see what you can do. No beast stands a chance against Lord Voldemort"

Luna squinted her eyes in concentration. Voldemort smirked. Bellatrix drooled. Luna smiled as she felt the tingle that signified the imminent transformation. Voldemort took a step back as he suddenly got a very bad feeling. Bellatrix chased a Nargle off her shoulder. And then suddenly there was a loud splath" as thirty four wizards and witches and one Dark Lord were crushed under one hundred and sixty tons of Blue Whale

A few hundred kilometers away a boy and a girl were escorting their best friend who according to many was the last hope of the Wizarding World to the Hospital Wing. They suspected that he was cursed because he had spent the last fifteen minutes giggling non stop


End file.
